I just steal my favorite memes from other platforms and share them with you guys.

You know, kindling to keep the Lemmy fire burning warmer.

Also, I love uncomplicated, basic stuff in life; like schnitzel, coffee and masturbation.

  • 28 Posts
Joined 2M ago
Cake day: Sep 29, 2023


I used to have a pixel art tut on YouTube, about 30k views. as they kept changing their terms as the time went by, in my disfavor, and in the user’s disfavor, I deleted the video. fuck them.

it’s just better even as UI. you can pick all the settings:

  • set default video resolution
  • autoplay
  • allow/skip ads
  • allow/skip sponsor messages
  • play audio only
  • hide suggested vidya/comments/description (toggle)
  • dark mode
  • no tracking
  • no email required for account
  • toggle shorts on/off
  • should homepage be trending or subscription feed?

I mean what the hell else can you want?

I always liked the characters but felt there wasn’t enough plot for them somehow.

She smell checks almost every ingredient and never tastes. Best cat. Then she smells the end product and we're both like 'that's that done, then'.

they said to tell you: “ditto, lol”

they’re still blue though.

If they leave the EU, the union will surely disband completely.

I think “the more global warming accentuates, the bigger the Firefox and the smaller the globe” is the consistent rule. and when it’s just an orange circle with 0 fox elements, and no blue left, our time will be up as a species. Just fire will remain.

this also makes sense anthropologically, since humans seem to have a built in social instinct to compare penis sizes. so if you run out of peer penises, or it is deemed socially unacceptable, one can transfer the instinct into measuring everything else compared to one’s penis.

if this would be a social norm, the standard unit approximation would probably keep increasing incrementally over the years, for social reasons.

“that door is 6 dicks wide”

“I only measured 5,2 dicks wide”


The speed with which one dick unit would increase per year on average will be called SUE or small unit energy.

I think the situation isn’t relatable to you which makes it difficult to get the joke. and that’s perfectly fine.

nurse shark will get you in jail.

Sounds about right. that doesn’t mean we can’t banter at work and be friendly with each other - it just doesn’t necessarily transfer into the rest of our lives, right?

the whole idea of the meme and the initial joke in the series is exactly that there’s no nice way of setting this boundary, so Jerry just becomes blunt about it and accepting that it makes him look like an ass. that is the joke

Well what if you don’t have friend groups, but individual, very close, intimate, old, meaningful friendships?

I am friendly but there’s no spots open in my spare time, so I end up coming off like a hypocrite. work - super friendly, off work - sorry, but nope.

and it’s jarring but 3 main friends is already hard to do especially since my family is super super fragmented, I’m an introvert and like slow living too. Just 2 visits a week spread equally to mom, dad (separated), 3 friends, granny, aunt. maths says we’ll only meet once a month already. no mate, I think you’re great but diluting my visits any further will make me super absent, and visiting more often makes me tired and absent in an even worse way.

It’s not your fault, I’ve had the good fortune of meeting good friends in life and made the effort to keep them around and the friendships have aged well. that and I was cursed with a dramatic family where nobody gets along. so yea, I know it sounds terribly douchy but it’s neither of us, there’s just no more vacancies.

I’m not gonna tell you all this when we get along at work, because it comes off as aggressive or belittling but what am I supposed to do/say?

they dressed up pretty thick too, since it can get pretty cold.

Why is my poop green?

it’s been almost a decade for me to “digest” this truth. But to be honest, I don’t even miss or regret it much anymore. I end up cooking, going out, cleaning up or resting instead. and doing those with the same openness to let them absorb me the way games used to,… man, they sure can be enjoyable

They will remove encryption from your nuts too.

Neato! I used boinc for a while too :D

You had to work for your series, movies and music. You had to know what you want to obtain it. You weren’t force-fed content you never asked for. You really think there’s no more good music? There is but being bombarded with the commercial sh*t makes you wary of searching more of it.

You had to work for it to get online and have stuff work, so you’d have to show determination. Which would mean you’d understand the value of access to information and communication. Now you’re bombarded with contradictory information pretty much constantly without even asking, accessing info isn’t the problem anymore, it becomes an effort to keep any focus or quality of information whatsoever. And that’s a soft skill.

And lastly, politics and big corporations now live on the internet with us. Their target audiences are those most intellectually defenseless people. But basically the whole internet has become centered around those. Because they can’t discern and are basically technologically illiterate and don’t understand how easy it is to feed them terrible commercials, propaganda and misinformation.

The internet becomes overregulated because of those users, and we get bombarded with marketing and politics because of them too. It’s become a shit show and all you can do is navigate and use it extremely selectively. Remember, these ‘normies’ are the parents of the 20-30 year Olds who once judged them for spending too much time on their PCs and phones.

I’d like it if there was a 3rd web. Not normie web, not dark web, but 90’s-2000 web where it felt like anything could happen and you needed some skill and willpower to get online. That way you had to earn it and so did the others, so there was a lot less marketing, propaganda and conspiracy theory on it.

I don’t know what the rules or parameters would have to be to re-initiate that now.

PS just like the joining process on Lemmy filters out the lazy people without much initiative to tinker and find new places to hang out before they are cool and streamlined.

Schnitzel Bub

They’re only checking if our civilization is still at the talking-out-of-our-asses stage.

There he is! Come on, angry mob, let’s all fart on this heathen!

Don’t worry, I already have someone go bring some from the shop. He’s running unusually late though - hope he’s OK.

Exactly, we’re pasta point where adding more puns is funny.

I actually only needed the volumetric farts of about 15 hamsters.

However, I thought it’s not realistic to have them all fart at the same time, so I kept buying more.

Eventually it was a big enough group that it seemed more statistically plausible that 15 of them farted in unison.

I feed them beer and cheese and beans to increase the hypothetical flatulence interval of each hamster.

Also I have found, adding “I don’t know, maybe something startled them and some of them… Went off” helps. I could buy a few more hamsters instead, but times are hard.

Who said murder wasn’t funny?

They landed, said "let's build some huge triangles for shits and giggles" and then they fucked off.

One might not have the balls for it.

And don’t forget the adrenalin junkies trying to get away with farting on fart karens

One could argue if you have those “not playing along” vibes in general on top of the flatulophobia, they might go out of their way to keep them in and seek you out just for extra fun. Behold how the funny stacks:


undesired fart

undesired stealth fart

undesired stealth fart one cannot really address

undesired stealth fart nobody can really address with a layer of spite and schadenfreude

Both are funny to me. I didn’t know there’s comedic range to poop-air.